The Journey Planned, Grooming stuff
ready, for that ludicrous hour to leave,
The travel sickness tablets are taken,
though the dog will no doubt still heave.
Patiently waiting, your dogs all ready, your
nerves begin to hit,
You nervously look and check again, oh
no it’s gone from your grooming kit.
Dogs Brushed up ,the butterflies
churning, you feel your racing heart.
And so it begins, the steward calls , the
judge is ready to start.
Suddenly it’s clear; it’s all an act, for her
face wears that tell tale frown.
Why bother with teeth, going over the
dog Or finishing the up and down.
Come on Madam, be honest here, we
know who should win this class.
Don't waste our time and try to pretend
that this is not just an elaborate farce.
Stevey wonder could see the rightful
winner, you can't miss her soundness and
You can't be that stupid, don't tell me
please, you don’t know the best dog
Your teeth a grind, your anger wells, its
hard to keep calm as you might,
It Surely can't be another show where
the Clairvoyants were really right.
The next few seconds pass in a blur,
definitely in a haze.
Avoiding eye contact, up the lead, the
judge she does a gaze,
I guess its no surprise to hear again….
the judge she did a Rob,
Yes its so, her preordained exhibitor
WAS the final BOB.
No Doubt tomorrow, We think this judge ,
in the group will definitely show,
Under today's best of Breed, no hiding its
what we all know.
Or Maybe something else, it seems they
hard to believe oh yes it is but take shut
up and pull another tissue.
Shame on you, this dog show game has
really gone to the pot,
The instances of it happening, seems
much more often than not.
A Favour for you, If you Play the game a
different world you will see.
So tell me please, is there anyone left
who will still judge Honestly.
So why do we do this, with what we know,
we really should not go along,
We pay the entries, say our prays and
hope to hell we are wrong.
So the Valium ataken, You've finally
calmed and can think about your next
Ring ring goes the phone….. WHAT you
say......I wont believe where the next
ticket will go.......
|A Dog Show Poem...... Author
There was a time, there really was,
when I was young and tender;
When SHOW DOG meant a Disney
Star, and BITCH was not a gender,
I went to bed at half past ten; I
went to Church on Sunday;
On Saturday I baked the beans,
and did the wash on Monday.
But when I got a Certain Pup, and
an erstwhile friend said, "SHOW,"
And so I did and so I do, OH! What I
I used to dress with flair and style,
that was the life, don't knock it.
But now each dress from bed to
ball must have a good bait pocket.
I used to have a certain air, I
wallowed in perfume,
I used to smell of Nuit D'Amour,
now I smell like Mr. Groom.
My furniture was haute d'cour, my
pets a tank of guppies.
Now I've furniture that is
unstuffed, and well-adjusted
Once I spoke in pristine prose in
dulcet tones and frail,
But now I'm using language that
would turn a sailor pale.
I was taught to be well-groomed no
matter where I went.
Now all the grooming that I do is in
the Handler's tent.
I used to long for furs and jewels
and a figure classed as super,
Now the thing I yearn for most is a
nice new Pooper-Scooper.
I adored a man who murmured
verse through intimate little
But now the words I thrill to hear
are just three -- "Best of Winners".
I rise at dawn and pack the van,
the road a head's a long one.
The one I routed on the map's
invariably the wrong one.
I really love this doggy life, I
wouldn't care to change it.
But when I get that BEST IN SHOW I
plan to rearrange it;
And when my time on earth is done
I'll go without much nudging
Just give me three weeks closing
date and let me know who's
|Why own a dog? There's a danger you know,
You can't own just one, for the craving will grow.
There's no doubt they're addictive, wherein lies the
While living with lots you'll grow poorer and stranger.
One dog is no trouble, and two are so funny.
The third one is easy, the fourth one's a honey.
The fifth one delightful, the sixth one's a breeze,
You find you can live with a houseful with ease.
So how 'bout another? Would you really dare?
They're really quite easy but oh, Lord the hair!
With dogs on the sofa and dogs on the bed,
And crates in the kitchen,it's no bother you've said.
They're really no trouble,their manners are great.
What's just one more dog and just one more crate?
The sofa is hairy,the windows are crusty,
The floor is all footprints,the furniture dusty.
The housekeeping suffers, but what do you care?
Who minds a few nose prints and a little more hair?
So let's keep a puppy, you can always find room,
And a little more time for the dust cloth and broom.
There's hardly a limit to the dogs you can add,
The thought of a cut back sure makes you sad.
Each one is so special, so useful, so funny.
The vet, the food bill grows larger,you owe money.
Our folks never visit, few friends come to stay,
Except other dog folks, who all live the same way.
Your lawn has now died,and your shrubs are dead
But your weekends are busy, you're off with your
There's dog food and vitamins, training and shots.
And entries and travel and motels which cost lots.
Is it worth it, you wonder? Are you caught in a trap?
Then your favorite dog comes and climbs in your lap.
His look says you're special and you know that you
Keep all of the critter sin spite of the bill.
Some just for showing and some just to breed.
And some just for loving, they all fill a need.
But winter's a hassle, the dogs hate it too.
But they must have their walks though they're numb
Late evening is awful, you scream and you shout
At the dogs on the sofa who refuse to go out.
The dogs and the dog shows, the travel, the thrills;
The work and the worry,the pressure, the bills.
The whole thing seems worth it, the dogs are your
They're charming and funny and offset the strife.
Your lifestyle has changed. Things won't be the same.
Yes, those dogs are addictive and so is the dog
| I AM YOUR PUPPY
I am your puppy and I will love you until the end of Earth, but please know a few
things about me.
I am a puppy, this means my intelligence and capacity for learning are the same as an
8 month old child.
I am a puppy, I will chew EVERYTHING I can get my teeth on. This is how I explore and
learn about the world. It's up to you to guide me whats mine to chew and whats not.
I am a puppy and I cannot hold my bladder for longer than 1-2 hours. I cannot feel that
I need to poop until it's actually beginning to come out. I cannot vocalize nor tell you
that I need to go, and I cannot have bowel and bladder control until about 6-9 months.
Do not punish me if you do not let me out for 3 hours and I tinkle. It is YOUR fault. As a
puppy, remember that I NEED to potty after eating, sleeping, playing, drinking and
every 2-3 hours in addition. If you want me to sleep through the night, then do not
give me water after 7-8 pm . A crate will help me to learn to housebreak easier, and
will avoid you being mad at me.
I am a puppy, accidents WILL happen, please be patient with me, in time I will learn.
I am a puppy, I like to play. I will run around and chase imaginary monsters, and chase
your feet and your toes and attack you, and chase other pets and small kids. It is play,
it's what I do. Do not be mad at me or expect me to be sedate, melow or sleep all day.
My play is beneficial, use your wisdom to guide me in my play with appropriate toys,
and activities like chasing a rolling ball, or gentle tug games, or plenty of chew toys
for me. If I nip you too hard, talk to me in 'dog talk' by giving a loud yelp as this is how
my mother used to communicate with me and I will understand. If I get too rough
simply ignore me for a few minutes of put me in my crate with an appropriate chew toy.
I am a puppy, hopefully you will not yell, hit, strike, kick or beat an 8 month old child so
please do not do the same to me. I am delicate, and also very impressionable. If you
treat me harshly now I will grow up learning to fear being hit, spanked, kicked or
beaten. Instead please guide me with encouragement and wisdom. For instance if I
am chewing something wrong say 'NO CHEW' and hand me a toy I CAN chew. Better
still, pick ANYTHING up that you do not want me to get into. I can't tell the difference
between your old sock and your new sock, or your old shoe and your new £300 Nikes.
I am a puppy and I am a creature with feelings and drives much like your own, but yet
also very different. I truly DO want to please you and be a part of your family and your
life. You got me (I hope) because you want a loving partner and companion, so do not
relegate me to the back garden when I get bigger, do not judge me harshly but
instead mold me with gentleness and guidelines and training into the kind of family
member you want.
I am a puppy and I am not perfect, I know your not perfect either. I love you anyway.
Please teach me with love, patience, the right way to behave and socialize me with
training in a puppy class or obedience class, we will BOTH have a lot of fun together.
I am a puppy, and I want more than anything to love you, to be with you and too please
you. Won;'t you please take the time to understand how I work? We are the same you
and I in that we both feel, hunger, pain, thirst, discomfort and fear, but yet we are also
very different and must work to understand one another's language, body signals,
wants and needs. Some day I will be a handsome dog, hopefully one you can be
proud of and one that you will love, as much as I love you.
Just a dog - Author Unknown
From time to time, people tell me, "lighten up, it's just a dog," or, "that's a lot of money for just a dog." They
don't understand the distance travelled, the time spent, or the costs
involved for "just a dog."
Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog.
" Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog," but I did not once feel slighted.
Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by "just a dog," and in those days
of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it's "just a dog," then you will probably understand phases like "just a
friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise." "Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence
of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.
"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person,
Because of "just a dog" I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.
So for me and folks like me, it's not "just a dog" but an embodiment of all the hopes and
dreams of the future, The fond memories of the past and the pure joy of the moment.
"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the
I hope that someday they can understand that it's not "just a dog" but the thing that gives me humanity and
keeps me from being "just a man or women."
So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog." just smile, because they "just don't understand”.